Updated: Jan 11, 2022
Confidence is not "will they like me" confidence is "I'll be fine if they don't"
Having self-confidence is the gateway to truly believing in yourself - leading us towards a more fulfilled emotional state.
The second I walked out onto that amateur bodybuilding stage, I knew I was going to win that day.
I knew it with absolute certainty. I felt it.
How? I had visualised it daily. I imagined how I would feel the moment the judges announced my name. I allowed the feeling of winning to absorb into my entire brain and flow through my whole body.
During those treacherous weeks of rigorous preparation, my inner confidence was starting to develop. I could feel a shift as my self-discipline and focus remained stable daily.
The realisation of outer confidence was yet to flourish.
How we feel on the inside does not necessarily reflect truthfully on the outside. This, can be problematic.
For example, in a work meeting with your Supervisor, perhaps they are criticising your work.
Maybe you were wrongly blamed for something or being probed about something you don't want to discuss.
Inside, you are furious or perhaps incredibly sad. But on the outside, you try to showcase a more, level-headed approach in fear of being judged or worse, loosing your job.
You can't be seen showing your true feelings - can you?
There may come a time in your career when your inner feelings are also 'put out there' and this is when you become your most authentic self.
Removing the Corporate Colin mask and simply, being you.
Imagine that, a workplace where you can be you in the most powerful way, and be accepted for that. Now that would be a great place to work and yes, they do exist.
Moving from uncertainty as we seek out our own self confidence towards being absolutely certain, is a deliberate and explicitly careful process. One that anyone can master.
Follow these steps and you will move closer to peak self-confidence:
#1 - Tell your brain to Fcuk off
When our brain senses something new. A disruption to a long-lived pattern or a well established habit. It acts quickly to protect us. This protective layer is ingrained into our DNA, it is human nature to simply survive.
So when you feel you want to make a courageous act - this means training your brain to act into actually doing the thing (instead of negotiating your way out of it).
Make sense? Great!
Put this into practise now.
Think about something you want to do - it could be to present an idea to your Manager. Perhaps you want to join a local yoga or dance club. Maybe you want to start your own business.
But something is stopping you.
Your brain. Your thoughts. Your ingrained biology to 'keep you safe'
Thank you brain, but kindly fcuk off - I have a life to live and goals to achieve!
Where there is the will to succeed, allow yourself to find the way.
Let's keep going.
#2 - Exposure to Challenges
Get yourself in-front of more challenges, with the intention to take part or even, lead.
Here is a helpful list to get you started:
- Volunteer as a parent governor
- Set weekly 'mindful' meetings with peers
- Put yourself forward at work to offer classes
- Network at local events
- Learn a new skill, get certified in a subject
- Start a blog
- Set yourself a health goal
- Connect with 10 strangers daily
- Go for a 5k run 5 times a week
- Ask for a discount at the local market
The point is to challenge yourself in doing something you would typically think of as uncomfortable.
The challenge, by definition: a call to someone to participate in a competitive situation. A call to prove or justify something.
Challenges are important on our quest to discover and keep hold of confidence. Confidence is born slowly. Confidence is created. Think of each challenge like a brick.
Each brick as a solo piece is just a brick - but when you start to stack them, the house is building. Your self-confidence is building.
"Don't be afraid of new ideas. Be afraid of old ideas. They keep you where you are and stop you from growing and moving forward. Concentrate on where you want to go, not on what you fear" - Tony Robbins
#3 - What you think you become
The more you feed your mind with the desire and vision of your best self, the closer you get to actually achieving that.
When I started preparing for my first physique competition, my first idea was to follow others who had already accomplished my own goals. I thought, if I am to achieve X I need to absorb from Y. I have always believed in the power of preparation.
I hired a bodybuilding coach who had placed top5 at Olympia (the worlds most elite stage for professional competitors).
I studied personal training and nutrition every weekend whilst working my full-time leadership role in London - I wanted to learn about how to optimise my training and get into the frequency of this skill. Learn, Grow, Succeed - my business tagline.
I planned food days in advance and supplemented like crazy - to optimise everything from sleep cycles to joint strength to workout recovery and more.
It was one of the most challenging periods of my life. It was also one of the most rewarding.
I hope you can recall something like this in your own life. Where you had a big idea and you simply got to work on making it happen.
When we think 'well this is going to be tough' guess what - it will be!
When we think 'this is going to be exciting' guess what - it will be!
What we think and feel becomes bigger, shaping our reality.
Confidence in daily life, career and business will enable you to access peak performance mode. Why is this important?
Peak performance is an incredible state to reach - everything is in flow.
You know that feeling, when you're stuck into a project or a presentation then suddenly several hours have passed! You feel great, you feel accomplished.
This is available as often as you choose it to be - even during challenging times such as an interview.
But before starting the entire process, I did something beforehand. This is the next point...
#4 - Decide
Deciding to give it everything. In my example, this was not only to eat nutritious and fuelling foods for just 4 days a week. Not commit myself to only training a few times in the evening. Not hitting the snooze button on life.
I decided to 100% go all in.
I wanted to know that the end result was a direct reflection of the work I had put in, and I wanted to own that, knowing that I gave it everything.
It mattered to me - so I found time, I found a way.
Gym sessions were at 6am - I was still in work at 8:15am, all good!
Lunches and snacks were prepared and packed the night before.
By committing ourselves into a powerful decision, we are training the brain hey, this matters, get on with it!
Below are some images of the typical daily foods I ate.
Everything is born twice. Once in the mind, with the thought and secondly with the action.
Creating confidence in your life, career and business is entirely possible for anyone. Of course it is not a magic pill to take - it requires significant attention. You already know that nothing worth having is easy. To be confident is to be courageous - even when you are scared, even when you feel uneasy, even when you feel shy.
Once you acquire the confidence, keep on repeating the steps above. This will reaffirm the new patterns in your brain and you get to stack more of those confidence building bricks!
Confidence is the work of a lifetime.
That day, I competed for me. I didn't allow room for distraction by comparing myself to other entries. This would have left me wide open for worry and stress (or analysis paralysis) which would have impacted my whole energy and performance.
I decided to only focus on my best efforts, and you know what happened?
After a day that started at 8am and the result being called at 7pm.
I WON. 1st place!
If you would like to explore how confidence can have massive impact on your business and team abilities, click through to our signature workshop here you'll be glad you did.
Thank you for reading!
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