Here is why resilience matters.
By having it allows you to move through ‘pain’ quicker; freeing up time to be doing the stuff you actually love doing.
Let’s face it, no one really enjoys a self-pity party, so how can we dust ourselves off quicker and move towards something better?
The literal meaning of resilience is to be ‘able to quickly return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched or pressed’
Resilience is a mindset that can be taught, it changes over time and it is within our control.
Ever heard someone say ‘you need to grow a thicker skin’
They mean resilience.
So let’s tackle this and learn how to be resilient as F***!
Firstly, acceptance.
Entirely knowing and accepting that the ‘thing’ has happened and it is now out of your hands. Tough pill to swallow right? I know.
Maybe you just lost your job, maybe you have just been furloughed again, maybe your store is closing and you might need to relocate to keep your position, maybe your bff at work is leaving and you feel lost, maybe your company car was stolen (yes, this happened to me, in the worst way imaginable, more on that in a future blog).
Acceptance means you will let the information sink in; you will take the time to process and, sit with your emotions. Psssst…not for too long.
Much like the stages of grief, you must pass through each of them in order to actually heal those wounds and to develop your resilience.
So if you are angry, find a way to express that, but not directed towards a person; placing your crap onto someone else won’t help you or your relationship with that person.
All anger is, at it’s core, is pent up energy and frustration – so go for a cycle or a run, throw some weights around in the gym.
Move through that emotion.
If you feel upset, it’s really ok. Cry, sob in the shower, reminisce the good times, talk to your partner/friend/therapist.
Understand that this too shall pass.
Move through that emotion.
Here is the thing - you have to actually do this inner work!
I have seen first-hand how damaging it can be to not acknowledge this step above. To ignore it and blindly say ‘it’ll be ok’ yes, I believe it will be. However, first you need to get through this state of disbelief and actually face your emotions. Be present.
Now you are steadier emotionally, take charge and define some purpose.
Small steps, simply aim to set daily goals to start with. This is great!
No longer are you handing over your power to ‘the thing’ but you are firmly rooting your energy and power into yourself, to build a better future.
Write down what you need to do to move forward.
Maybe you have identified a skill gap so you want to complete an online course. Maybe you have too much in your head so you need a career coach.
Maybe you need to re-brand your CV and connect with people to move towards your next job faster.
Maybe you need to make smarter choices to instil better work habits.
Imagine resilience as a key; which is carved from all your experiences, emotions, thoughts and feelings. Now your key is ready to unlock the next door quickly.
Turn the key!
Spend less time looking back and re-carving.
Spend less time pausing or regurgitating the things you have already moved passed.
Spend your time on the future you, your future role, your future ambitions.
I am resilient because I choose to be. You have the power to choose the same!
Resilience is a hard skill to acquire, yes. But I tell you this, if you really actively practice what I have shared here today, you will be well equipped, you will move forwards faster and you will be resilient as F!!